Chapter 10 - Arnbjörg
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Friday, September 22, 2000
“This sucks.” Arnbjörg slumped into the couch. “This whole school and all of its sucky rules and it sucky magic, the whole place sucks.”
She glanced guiltily at Jaya. For some reason, complaining made her feel bad now, at least complaining where Jaya could hear her. Since Jaya was looking half-sympathetic and half-distracted, she kept going. “Being Kept sucks.”
Had she gone too far? No, Jaya wasn’t even listening, she was still playing the stupid video game with Phelen. But, oh joy of joy, Nikita had heard her.
“It’s not always bad. And even when it is, it’s not all bad.” He touched his bare neck thoughtfully. “I mean. Some people like it more than others, I guess.”
“You guess?” Arna’s hand went to the necklace Jaya had put on her. It wasn’t a collar, except it was (and that had been exactly what Jaya had said). “Or you know?”
He jerked his shoulders up in a shrug. “I know, I guess. I didn’t like it… and then I did. Sheba’s a good Keeper. Jaya’s probably a good Keeper, too.”
“Probably?” Now Jaya was paying attention. “Niki…”
“Well, how would I know? It’s not like I’ve seen you put a collar on someone before. How would I know?”
“A little faith, please. Arna, being Kept doesn’t have to suck. My friend Kai is still Keeping her boyfriend Conrad. Niki didn’t mind being Kept, you heard him.”
“What about you?”
“Well, it’s complicated.” She passed the controller over to Phelen, who was doing his best to pretend he was ignoring their conversation. “Sometimes I didn’t like it. The, uh… the guy who Kept Niki his first year Kept me my first year.”
Guy. Something deep in Arnbjörg’s chest tightened and twisted. “I thought – I thought you liked girls.” She felt stupid staying it, even stupider when the room fell cautiously silent.
Jaya cleared her throat. “I do like girls. And I like guys. And, ah, others. I guess you could say I’m flexible that way.”
“Bisexual.” Arnbjörg couldn’t look at her. She wasn’t sure where she should be looking, so she stared at the TV screen. Little pixelated characters danced up and down. “So, you’re, you’re not just into me.”
“Oh, come on, Arna.” Where had Sheba even come from? All of a sudden she was sitting next to Arnbjörg, scolding her, like that was her job somehow. “You can’t really think those tired old bullshit myths, can you? That being bisexual means you can’t settle down. That it means you can’t commit.”
“I just…” Arnbjörg chewed on her lip and looked away. She didn’t have to explain things to Sheba.
“Oh, come on. It’s not a big deal. Jaya’s a good girl, she’s going to be a good Keeper for you. And it’ll keep – ha – you safe. Someone was going to try to Keep you. Someone always does.”
“Unless you Keep someone first.”
“Stop helping, Phelen.” Sheba tossed a pillow over Arnbjörg’s head at Phelen. But Arnbjörg was already listening.
“Wait. So if I’m Keeping someone, nobody could Keep me?”
“Exactly. But it’s too late for this year, I’m afraid.” Phelen passed the controller back to Jaya; it was Jaya’s turn to ignore the conversation and squirm uncomfortably. “Once you’re Kept, that’s it until you’re released.”
“…This year?” Phelen was a creep, a slimy, snakey creep. So why was he giving her more information than anyone else?
“Phelen, you’re helping again.” Sheba sighed irritably. “This is Jaya’s job. You don’t want to get everything all muddied up.”
Arnbjörg took a breath and counted to ten in her head. She was going to throw things. She was going to scream at Sheba. She was not going to do any of that, because Jaya winced and got all unhappy when she did.
“I’d like to know.”
“And you should know. But it’s Jaya’s job to tell you. That’s part of being a Keeper.”
They all looked at Jaya for a moment. Finally, she sighed and put down the game controller. “I really don’t mind Phelen telling her… I mean, Niki told me most of this stuff last year. Sometimes it comes easier from someone who isn’t the Keeper.”
“Jaya…” Sheba’s voice was full of warning.
It was too much. Arnbjörg stood up.
“Look. She owns me. It sucks, but I walked right into it and there’s not much I can do about it, so, this place is fucked up, it allows students to find themselves in magical possession of other students, and I found myself in the magical possession of Jaya here. That means I’m hers. It does not mean, as far as anyone has told me – and by all means, tell me if I’m wrong here. We wouldn’t want me to be going under any more false impressions! – that I am anyone else’s. This isn’t ownership by committee. Or is it?”
“Well, technically,” Phelen fell quiet as Sheba glared at him.
Arnbjörg had had several times more than enough. “I asked him a question. Why can’t he answer?”
“Do you really need things to be any more complicated?”
“Clearly, if I don’t understand everything yet, I do.” She raised her chin and glared at Sheba.
The cat-girl glared right back at her. “I’m trying to help you.”
“I can tell. So was Jaya. So is Phelen. And only one of you is helping by actually telling me things, and that’s the guy!”
“Hey!”
“Sorry, Niki.” She knew she didn’t sound sorry, and she didn’t feel all that sorry either. “The only people telling me anything are the guys.”
“That’s because they don’t have to deal with the mess when you get overwhelmed. Jaya does. And I do.”
Arnbjörg closed her eyes and counted silently to twenty. When she opened her eyes, she started slowly, to make certain she could make her voice sound level and calm.
“Nobody’s answered my question yet, so I don’t know how to answer next. Is there ownership by committee?”
“Only if the Keepers are in a mutually Kept relationship,” Phelen offered. He sounded quieter now. “It’s not a thing most people do, because it means everyone’s handing over some control. But Shahin and Emrys, for instance. They Kept someone together last year.”
Arnbjörg barely knew who those people were. She nodded anyway. Her eyes were on Sheba, even as she talked to Phelen. “So, Jaya is Keeping me…”
“And Jaya isn’t in a mutually Kept relationship with anyone else. You’d have known if she was, because they would have both had to be there to Keep you.”
She raised her eyebrows at Sheba. The cat-girl raised both of her hands in mock surrender.
“It’s still my crew. That means I still care what happens, and I will still interfere. But if you’re not worried about being overwhelmed, have at. I’ll stay out of it.”
Her tail was lashing as she left the room. Arnbjörg found herself smiling.